He smiled to me. A smile so enchanting and alluring.
Inexplicably, I could tell he liked me.
I could tell, based on my gay instincts and from his gestures, that he’s gay.
I could tell, based on my intuitions, that it wasn’t a simple smile. But a smile blazing with seduction.
Many a time, our eyes met. It sent flickers of electricity through my entire body. I wanted to get to know him but was too timid and shy. I always looked at him, gave him an equally seductive smile and promptly looked away because I was too shy.
Well, he’s an air-steward on board my flight from KL to X. Very handsome and adorable.
I sat on an aisle seat. He intentionally touched my shoulder once when he passed by. I knew immediately that that’s nothing but a signal that he’s interested in me.
My intention was pure. I just wanted to befriend him. Somehow, this couldn’t explain the sustained erection I had.
We’re apparently interested in each other. I was waiting for him to take the first move and give me his number. Sad to say, he wasn’t bold enough to approach me too. Consequently, in the end, nothing happened.
I really regret for not being proactive enough.
I’ve tried to search for him on Friendster and Facebook but to no avail. I really do regret now. I’m not going to repeat the mistake, if I ever get to see him again.
Nevertheless, at least now I know I can attract people even with my hair unwaxed and when I wear glasses. =)
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
Slutting adventure
When I was on the way to the airport, I was smiling. My heart was smiling too, as I reminisced the wonderful moments I had during my one-week vacation in KL.
I haven’t felt so genuinely happy for some time.
I guess I owe Gor a.k.a William Ng a big thank for recognizing me as the self-proclaimed President of William’s Di Association. Had it not been him, I wouldn’t have got the opportunity to get acquainted to such gregarious and approachable people as Cheryl, Alex and so on.
Thanks a lot, Chester, for driving me here and there, enabling me to meet the people I wanted to meet. Thank you for organizing the gathering at Xenri which rendered me the chance to reunite with Gor and befriend Eric whom I thought was pretty hot).
Thanks a lot, Cheryl, for bringing me to a lunch in which Alex failed to turn up. LOL. You’re such a wonderful woman. I’ll always give you the respect you deserve as Gor’s Dear.Thanks a lot, Pikey a.k.a Tofu, for the sincerity and altruism that you’d shown to me, despite the fact that you’re no longer single. I really do appreciate you.
Thanks a lot, Jason, for treating me to a meal at the Gardens and not minding the fact that I idolize Alex.
Thanks a lot, Kai Ting, for footing the bill when we high-tead in a Taiwanese restaurant in Pavillion.
Thanks a lot, Alex, for putting such a beautiful end to my slutting adventure in KL. I don't know how to describe the elation I felt. Your body scent made you even more dazzling. (Err… I didn’t purposely sniff you la, ok? I’m no pervert. It’s just your cologne.)
Last but not least, I’d also like to express my gratitude to Mikey, Lulu, Tan Tart and Piano who brought me all the way to Klang for dinner.
Hotties I met : Alex, Pluboy, Gor.
Cuties I met: Queer Ranter (so damn adorable ), Jason, Chester, Cheryl, Lulu.
I really miss you guys. I really do. Thanks for making my vacation so memorable and enjoyable.
My surgery posting starts today. It’s going to be another cycle of stress, endless mugging and the inevitable end-of-posting exam.
I haven’t felt so genuinely happy for some time.
I guess I owe Gor a.k.a William Ng a big thank for recognizing me as the self-proclaimed President of William’s Di Association. Had it not been him, I wouldn’t have got the opportunity to get acquainted to such gregarious and approachable people as Cheryl, Alex and so on.
Thanks a lot, Chester, for driving me here and there, enabling me to meet the people I wanted to meet. Thank you for organizing the gathering at Xenri which rendered me the chance to reunite with Gor and befriend Eric whom I thought was pretty hot).
Thanks a lot, Cheryl, for bringing me to a lunch in which Alex failed to turn up. LOL. You’re such a wonderful woman. I’ll always give you the respect you deserve as Gor’s Dear.Thanks a lot, Pikey a.k.a Tofu, for the sincerity and altruism that you’d shown to me, despite the fact that you’re no longer single. I really do appreciate you.
Thanks a lot, Jason, for treating me to a meal at the Gardens and not minding the fact that I idolize Alex.
Thanks a lot, Kai Ting, for footing the bill when we high-tead in a Taiwanese restaurant in Pavillion.
Thanks a lot, Alex, for putting such a beautiful end to my slutting adventure in KL. I don't know how to describe the elation I felt. Your body scent made you even more dazzling. (Err… I didn’t purposely sniff you la, ok? I’m no pervert. It’s just your cologne.)
Last but not least, I’d also like to express my gratitude to Mikey, Lulu, Tan Tart and Piano who brought me all the way to Klang for dinner.
Hotties I met : Alex, Pluboy, Gor.
Cuties I met: Queer Ranter (so damn adorable ), Jason, Chester, Cheryl, Lulu.
I really miss you guys. I really do. Thanks for making my vacation so memorable and enjoyable.
My surgery posting starts today. It’s going to be another cycle of stress, endless mugging and the inevitable end-of-posting exam.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Away from stress
Sat for the last paper 2 days ago.
Yet, the ordeal....and the torture...are nothing more than a distant memory now.
....
I reached KL yesterday.
Met up my straight friends as well as Pikey and Chester.
....
It feels so great...to not have to be confined to my tiny little room to study.
It feels so great...to not have to wake up in the morning and shudder at the thought that the exam is approaching.
Yet, the ordeal....and the torture...are nothing more than a distant memory now.
....
I reached KL yesterday.
Met up my straight friends as well as Pikey and Chester.
....
It feels so great...to not have to be confined to my tiny little room to study.
It feels so great...to not have to wake up in the morning and shudder at the thought that the exam is approaching.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Drowned in exhaustion
I'm exhausted. Really.
The exam is drawing near.
....
Sometimes, things don't happen to way they should be.
Sometimes, people aren't like whom you used to think they were anymore. Very disheartening.
People are unpredictable. Things are unforseeable.
....
And I've gained weight, evidenced by the noticeable accumulation of fat pads on my cheeks. Something wrong that happens at the wrong time.
....
I feel inferior. Intimidated. Disillusioned. And afraid....of the unknown. Of what lies ahead of me.
At the end of the day, the realization that all I have is myself dawns on me. And the only option I have, is to persevere....with tenacity.... no matter what happens.
The exam is drawing near.
....
Sometimes, things don't happen to way they should be.
Sometimes, people aren't like whom you used to think they were anymore. Very disheartening.
People are unpredictable. Things are unforseeable.
....
And I've gained weight, evidenced by the noticeable accumulation of fat pads on my cheeks. Something wrong that happens at the wrong time.
....
I feel inferior. Intimidated. Disillusioned. And afraid....of the unknown. Of what lies ahead of me.
At the end of the day, the realization that all I have is myself dawns on me. And the only option I have, is to persevere....with tenacity.... no matter what happens.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
About someone who just turned 28
It was a typical night back in May 2008. We met in a restaurant in Old Klang Road.
“ Haha. Now I know why you like to hold your camera in that manner when you’re cam-whoring. It certainly has a slimming effect on you,” he stated. An absolutely honest and candid comment, I’d say. But definitely not something you’d like to hear when you meet someone for the first time.
I flinched a little and stared at the guy half my size and 10 cm shorter than me in blatant disbelief in response to his statement.
Anyway, I wasn’t annoyed. In fact, I appreciated him for his veracity and truthfulness. I was very pleased and honoured to be able to finally meet William after months of sms-ing each other.
I’ve been making friends on the cyberspace for centuries. William is one of the very few who leave footprints on my heart and are willing to listen to the trifles and trivialities in my everyday life. It warms my heart that he always patiently listen to my exaggerated stories and descriptions as well as the ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ of the cute guys in I see every day. I guess it gets a little boring sometimes but he never complains. He’s more than just a virtual internet friend. He’s a nice person. He cheers me up me when I’m down, when I'm demoralized, when the guy I’m infatuated with likes someone else, when I extremely stressed or when I feel lonely and need to sms someone.
He might not look appetizing or alluring enough to stun and woo my simple mind which is saturated with impurities and easily gives in to temptations. He might not have a husky voice on the phone which arouses me. Yet, he’s someone I’d really love to hang out with during the weekends, had we got the opportunity. He’s one of the several people whom I’d reflexively think of if someone asks me who my good friends are.
Our relationship is completely placid. And hopefully, it’ll continue to flourish and its progress unhindered by the distance between us. Happy belated birthday, Gor. Hope you like the present I posted you.=) May happiness always be with you and the love between you and KH be an eternity.
“ Haha. Now I know why you like to hold your camera in that manner when you’re cam-whoring. It certainly has a slimming effect on you,” he stated. An absolutely honest and candid comment, I’d say. But definitely not something you’d like to hear when you meet someone for the first time.
I flinched a little and stared at the guy half my size and 10 cm shorter than me in blatant disbelief in response to his statement.
Anyway, I wasn’t annoyed. In fact, I appreciated him for his veracity and truthfulness. I was very pleased and honoured to be able to finally meet William after months of sms-ing each other.
I’ve been making friends on the cyberspace for centuries. William is one of the very few who leave footprints on my heart and are willing to listen to the trifles and trivialities in my everyday life. It warms my heart that he always patiently listen to my exaggerated stories and descriptions as well as the ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ of the cute guys in I see every day. I guess it gets a little boring sometimes but he never complains. He’s more than just a virtual internet friend. He’s a nice person. He cheers me up me when I’m down, when I'm demoralized, when the guy I’m infatuated with likes someone else, when I extremely stressed or when I feel lonely and need to sms someone.
He might not look appetizing or alluring enough to stun and woo my simple mind which is saturated with impurities and easily gives in to temptations. He might not have a husky voice on the phone which arouses me. Yet, he’s someone I’d really love to hang out with during the weekends, had we got the opportunity. He’s one of the several people whom I’d reflexively think of if someone asks me who my good friends are.
Our relationship is completely placid. And hopefully, it’ll continue to flourish and its progress unhindered by the distance between us. Happy belated birthday, Gor. Hope you like the present I posted you.=) May happiness always be with you and the love between you and KH be an eternity.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Another fisherman
“ Encik, you kerja apa huh?”
“ Nelayan.”
Another fisherman. I was delighted upon hearing that. Very automatically, I started to picture the prominent exotic rectus abdominis muscles that’d be awaiting me the moment I exposed his chest and abdomen.
“ Boleh saya periksa sekejap?”
He gave me a tentative nod. And I proceeded to inspect his chest, palpate his apex beat and so on. I didn’t examine his abdomen (though I wanted to..hehe) as nothing in his history signified anything pathological in his gastrointestinal system. See, I don’t always lose my sanity and ethics when I encounter muscular patients. =)
---
I got an upper respiratory tract infection (URTI) but am recovering well from the sore throat, mild fever and temporary hoarseness of voice it gave me. It could be hospital-acquired. Not a punishment of being too hamsap, I hope. We usually go all out to examine patients with good and obvious signs, disregarding their disease status. They might be having unconfirmed pulmonary tuberculosis (TB), Hepatitis B infection or pneumonia. And personally, I rarely bother about taking the necessary safety precautions for they’re troublesome and time-consuming. Should have been more cautious.
---
Aaron has gone back to India. My cell phone has again sunk into an irritating silence. Aih.
I’m now alone in my room. Guess my roommates have gone out with their girlfriends. A bit lonely. How I wish there’s someone with whom I can share my joy, laughter and tears. Someone who cheers me up when I’m down. Someone who’s neither a fantasy, nor a figment of my imagination.
But…
Aih…
“ Nelayan.”
Another fisherman. I was delighted upon hearing that. Very automatically, I started to picture the prominent exotic rectus abdominis muscles that’d be awaiting me the moment I exposed his chest and abdomen.
“ Boleh saya periksa sekejap?”
He gave me a tentative nod. And I proceeded to inspect his chest, palpate his apex beat and so on. I didn’t examine his abdomen (though I wanted to..hehe) as nothing in his history signified anything pathological in his gastrointestinal system. See, I don’t always lose my sanity and ethics when I encounter muscular patients. =)
---
I got an upper respiratory tract infection (URTI) but am recovering well from the sore throat, mild fever and temporary hoarseness of voice it gave me. It could be hospital-acquired. Not a punishment of being too hamsap, I hope. We usually go all out to examine patients with good and obvious signs, disregarding their disease status. They might be having unconfirmed pulmonary tuberculosis (TB), Hepatitis B infection or pneumonia. And personally, I rarely bother about taking the necessary safety precautions for they’re troublesome and time-consuming. Should have been more cautious.
---
Aaron has gone back to India. My cell phone has again sunk into an irritating silence. Aih.
I’m now alone in my room. Guess my roommates have gone out with their girlfriends. A bit lonely. How I wish there’s someone with whom I can share my joy, laughter and tears. Someone who cheers me up when I’m down. Someone who’s neither a fantasy, nor a figment of my imagination.
But…
Aih…
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Muscled
I'm fatigued and drained.
I carpool to the hospital with a friend. But still, it's tiring. And I wish the astronomical petrol price would go down a bit for it's placed a rather huge financial burden on me.
Otherwise, I’m having a great time in my medicine posting. Everyone in the ward seems to have a different and unique story to relate to you. Very interesting. Sufferers of acute pancreatitis will describe to you a very characteristic pain which radiates to the back from the epigastrium. Whereas, those afflicted with acute cholecystitis (inflammation of gallbladder) will give you a somewhat different account of pain.
Obtaining the history of illness from patients is something I find very fun and enjoyable. It’s more an art than a textbook sort of thing. It feels more like socializing. Nonetheless, presenting it to a specialist, during which I sometimes stammer and fluctuate between intense anticipation and fear, is a very different thing altogether.
I happened to examine a male patient with 6 packs yesterday. A fisherman. The marble contours of his perfectly muscled chest and abdomen were so dazzling that they sent my heart thudding erratically against my chest wall. His nipples, which I had a burning desire to lick, sent flickers of electricity through my body. But of course, I was self-disciplined enough to resist the temptation. I examined his abdomen twice on the pretext of confirming my clinical findings, indulging in every second of it. In actual fact, it was unnecessary. I was just being hamsap. Very unethical of me, right?
I carpool to the hospital with a friend. But still, it's tiring. And I wish the astronomical petrol price would go down a bit for it's placed a rather huge financial burden on me.
Otherwise, I’m having a great time in my medicine posting. Everyone in the ward seems to have a different and unique story to relate to you. Very interesting. Sufferers of acute pancreatitis will describe to you a very characteristic pain which radiates to the back from the epigastrium. Whereas, those afflicted with acute cholecystitis (inflammation of gallbladder) will give you a somewhat different account of pain.
Obtaining the history of illness from patients is something I find very fun and enjoyable. It’s more an art than a textbook sort of thing. It feels more like socializing. Nonetheless, presenting it to a specialist, during which I sometimes stammer and fluctuate between intense anticipation and fear, is a very different thing altogether.
I happened to examine a male patient with 6 packs yesterday. A fisherman. The marble contours of his perfectly muscled chest and abdomen were so dazzling that they sent my heart thudding erratically against my chest wall. His nipples, which I had a burning desire to lick, sent flickers of electricity through my body. But of course, I was self-disciplined enough to resist the temptation. I examined his abdomen twice on the pretext of confirming my clinical findings, indulging in every second of it. In actual fact, it was unnecessary. I was just being hamsap. Very unethical of me, right?
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