Today is the first day of my elective posting in Taiwan. There's a group of UKM medical students here too. They're a year my junior.
2 of the guys are damn hot. One of them is even the faculty king. A female colleague of mine is already drooling profusely. I can see the desperation in her eyes.
Well, I guess I'm just like her.
I'll spend my first week here in the Cardiology department. Hope I'll learn something useful apart from ogling at the cute Taiwanese guys here.
I desperately hope that I'll have the opportunity to get acquainted to the faculty king and the other equally cute guy named Winson.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
What a relief
He was cachexic. I thought he was having some sort of malignancy.
The veins in his antecubital fossa were big and fat and looked as if they would burst at any time. I held the syringe with great confidence and as the needle sank into one of the veins, my course-mate, Lady Yong, shrieked," Darren, be careful! RVD (retroviral disease) positive!"
I panicked. My hands trembled a little and blood was oozing out from the puncture site. And the horrifying thing was, I could see blood on my left hand and I wasn't wearing gloves.
I finished the blood-taking within the next 10 seconds and rushed to wash my hands thoroughly and checked every inch of my hands for any minute wound through which the human immunodeficiency virus could have gained entry into my bloodstream.
I flipped thorough his case notes and was extremely petrified to discover he's immunocompromised. I took a detailed history from him after washing my hands for like 10 times. On physical examination, he had oral thrush (a common opportunistic infection in the immunocrompromized) and enlarged liver and spleen. His lungs were bad, with crepitations all over. They thought he was having miliary tuberculosis or Pneumocystis jiroveci pneumonia. I prayed hard that the doctors were all wrong. Nevertheless, to my horror, his HIV test result came back positive a few days later.
There was no needle-stick injury. Even if there was, the chances of my getting infected would not exceed 1 % as the viral load was too low. Yet, for the past 1 year, I couldn't help feeling anxious and having the hypochondriatic delusion that I was HIV-positive despite the evidence to the contrary. Every time someone talked about AIDS or HIV, I became restless and catastrophized whatever thoughts that came to my mind. Isn't it devastating to know that you might be HIV-positive before you really get the chance to have sex in your life?
However, now, I can proudly announce my HIV status as the test result came back negative a few days back. It's part of the medical check-up required by the university in which I'll spend one month doing my elective posting in May.
Lessons learnt: Never take blood without wearing gloves. And never fuck without a condom.
Fact: Hepatitis B virus is 100 times more infective than HIV.
The veins in his antecubital fossa were big and fat and looked as if they would burst at any time. I held the syringe with great confidence and as the needle sank into one of the veins, my course-mate, Lady Yong, shrieked," Darren, be careful! RVD (retroviral disease) positive!"
I panicked. My hands trembled a little and blood was oozing out from the puncture site. And the horrifying thing was, I could see blood on my left hand and I wasn't wearing gloves.
I finished the blood-taking within the next 10 seconds and rushed to wash my hands thoroughly and checked every inch of my hands for any minute wound through which the human immunodeficiency virus could have gained entry into my bloodstream.
I flipped thorough his case notes and was extremely petrified to discover he's immunocompromised. I took a detailed history from him after washing my hands for like 10 times. On physical examination, he had oral thrush (a common opportunistic infection in the immunocrompromized) and enlarged liver and spleen. His lungs were bad, with crepitations all over. They thought he was having miliary tuberculosis or Pneumocystis jiroveci pneumonia. I prayed hard that the doctors were all wrong. Nevertheless, to my horror, his HIV test result came back positive a few days later.
There was no needle-stick injury. Even if there was, the chances of my getting infected would not exceed 1 % as the viral load was too low. Yet, for the past 1 year, I couldn't help feeling anxious and having the hypochondriatic delusion that I was HIV-positive despite the evidence to the contrary. Every time someone talked about AIDS or HIV, I became restless and catastrophized whatever thoughts that came to my mind. Isn't it devastating to know that you might be HIV-positive before you really get the chance to have sex in your life?
However, now, I can proudly announce my HIV status as the test result came back negative a few days back. It's part of the medical check-up required by the university in which I'll spend one month doing my elective posting in May.
Lessons learnt: Never take blood without wearing gloves. And never fuck without a condom.
Fact: Hepatitis B virus is 100 times more infective than HIV.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
The kids
Medicine has always been thrilling to me, be it internal medicine or paediatrics.
However, in internal medicine, almost half of the patients in the ward are there due to self-inflicted damages. You see people with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease due to chronic smoking. Chronic liver disease due to alcoholism. Uncontrolled type 2 diabetes mellitus. Sexually transmitted infections. AIDS.
However, in paediatrics, the picture is rather different. Stanley had biliary atresia and his liver is now cirrhotic although surgery had been done. For some reason, his mother refused to let Stanley undergo liver transplant though she knew that's the only option available to increase the lifespan of Stanley and without which his liver would definitely fail. She spoke to me so nonchalantly which reflected her courage and readiness for whatever that might come. I turned to look at Stanley. He shot a handsome smile as if he had lived his life to its fullest and didn't seem to be afraid of death.
There's another adorable girl with end-stage renal failure secondary to late cresenteric glomerulonephritis. The puffy girl with lupus nephritis who looked so depressed as a result of long-term steroid therapy. The constantly centrally cyanotic girl with pulmonary atresia whose mother declined to have her heart lesions surgically corrected.
The children are deprived of so many things in life that I've taken for granted. I don't know how they cope with their illnesses as such a tender age. It's sorta saddening to look at their angelical faces under which lie the suffering and torment only their mothers can understand.
However, in internal medicine, almost half of the patients in the ward are there due to self-inflicted damages. You see people with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease due to chronic smoking. Chronic liver disease due to alcoholism. Uncontrolled type 2 diabetes mellitus. Sexually transmitted infections. AIDS.
However, in paediatrics, the picture is rather different. Stanley had biliary atresia and his liver is now cirrhotic although surgery had been done. For some reason, his mother refused to let Stanley undergo liver transplant though she knew that's the only option available to increase the lifespan of Stanley and without which his liver would definitely fail. She spoke to me so nonchalantly which reflected her courage and readiness for whatever that might come. I turned to look at Stanley. He shot a handsome smile as if he had lived his life to its fullest and didn't seem to be afraid of death.
There's another adorable girl with end-stage renal failure secondary to late cresenteric glomerulonephritis. The puffy girl with lupus nephritis who looked so depressed as a result of long-term steroid therapy. The constantly centrally cyanotic girl with pulmonary atresia whose mother declined to have her heart lesions surgically corrected.
The children are deprived of so many things in life that I've taken for granted. I don't know how they cope with their illnesses as such a tender age. It's sorta saddening to look at their angelical faces under which lie the suffering and torment only their mothers can understand.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Paeds
" So, you've come to the final rotation. I want you guys to make every endeavour to pass. For your information, it's the posting with the highest failure rate. In case you fail, you might not have the opportunity to resit the exam and this means you'll be be retained for a year."
That's what the posting coordinator said when we met her on the first day of Paediatrics Posting. And since then, I've been under tremendous stress.
The consultants really do expect a lot from us. Besides, the medical officers in the ward are ferocious. They may look very kind when playing peekaboo with the kids. But, you don't know when they're going to snarl and bark at you and ask you questions that make you feel as if you've not learnt anything in the past 4 years. I guess I have to thank them for showing us the discrepancy between the level we're at and the level which we should achieve.
Now, I realize I shouldn't have sniggered at my roommate when he was studying day and night like a bookworm when he's in Paeds.
I'm tense. And I still miss Caleb once in a while.
That's what the posting coordinator said when we met her on the first day of Paediatrics Posting. And since then, I've been under tremendous stress.
The consultants really do expect a lot from us. Besides, the medical officers in the ward are ferocious. They may look very kind when playing peekaboo with the kids. But, you don't know when they're going to snarl and bark at you and ask you questions that make you feel as if you've not learnt anything in the past 4 years. I guess I have to thank them for showing us the discrepancy between the level we're at and the level which we should achieve.
Now, I realize I shouldn't have sniggered at my roommate when he was studying day and night like a bookworm when he's in Paeds.
I'm tense. And I still miss Caleb once in a while.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Hanging out with Caleb
I decided to come out to Dan two days ago after months of deliberation.
The much coveted chance of hanging out with Caleb finally came yesterday. I was so elated. Of course, Dan was with us too. In fact, Dan's the one who planned the whole thing and asked me out. So, apparently, he had no trouble accepting the truth about my sexual preference.
Caleb's startling talkativeness was similar to the pressure of speech noted the patients with bipolar mood disorder in manic phase in the ward. I didn't know he could be so talkative. He asked me a lot questions. And I could hardly keep up with his tempo while admiring the mesmerizing beauty of this smile. Well, is that a sign that we've known each other better and become closer?
Caleb’s cute. He’s brainy, lean and almost as tall as I am. He was very nicely dressed yesterday which made me even more ecstatic. Pink T-shirt. Nice jeans. A pair of Adidas shoes. Oh, did I mention I once saw Caleb topless from afar by accident? Haha. Scrumptious!
I did come clean to Dan about my liking for Caleb. He warned me that I might be disappointed.
I know how heart-wrenching it is to confess your love to a straight guy only to be brutally rejected. My past experiences have taught me well. At times, I don’t understand why I’d squander my time on falling for straight guys while I have a list of potential gay guys to choose from.
I don’t want to invest hope in something that’s unattainable. It’s exhausting and in the end, no one will get hurt but me.
Caleb, I like you.
Let this just be an infatuation that will dwindle into nothing with the passing of time. I’m penning this down so that I can have something sweet to reminisce and to laugh at when I'm grappling with osteoarthritis as my hair turns white.
The much coveted chance of hanging out with Caleb finally came yesterday. I was so elated. Of course, Dan was with us too. In fact, Dan's the one who planned the whole thing and asked me out. So, apparently, he had no trouble accepting the truth about my sexual preference.
Caleb's startling talkativeness was similar to the pressure of speech noted the patients with bipolar mood disorder in manic phase in the ward. I didn't know he could be so talkative. He asked me a lot questions. And I could hardly keep up with his tempo while admiring the mesmerizing beauty of this smile. Well, is that a sign that we've known each other better and become closer?
Caleb’s cute. He’s brainy, lean and almost as tall as I am. He was very nicely dressed yesterday which made me even more ecstatic. Pink T-shirt. Nice jeans. A pair of Adidas shoes. Oh, did I mention I once saw Caleb topless from afar by accident? Haha. Scrumptious!
I did come clean to Dan about my liking for Caleb. He warned me that I might be disappointed.
I know how heart-wrenching it is to confess your love to a straight guy only to be brutally rejected. My past experiences have taught me well. At times, I don’t understand why I’d squander my time on falling for straight guys while I have a list of potential gay guys to choose from.
I don’t want to invest hope in something that’s unattainable. It’s exhausting and in the end, no one will get hurt but me.
Caleb, I like you.
Let this just be an infatuation that will dwindle into nothing with the passing of time. I’m penning this down so that I can have something sweet to reminisce and to laugh at when I'm grappling with osteoarthritis as my hair turns white.
Monday, February 22, 2010
That friendly doctor
Medical students are lowest down the food chain in the ward. The hospital staff are always busy attending to the patients and rarely pay heed to our presence. Yet, I have to say that some of them can be very mean at times. They never hesitate to greet us with smiles that convey derision and answer our questions in a belligerent manner.
So, I was very glad when Dr. W actually took the initiative to talk to us and teach us things we didn’t know. He’s a house officer in the Department of Orthopaedics then.
There’s once he helped us get the permission from the specialist in the minor operating theatre so that we could enter to observe the procedure. He showed me the sunburst appearance of the streaks of new bone radiating outwards from the cortex on the X-ray film of the patient’s wrist with osteosarcoma ( the commonest primary bone malignancy). And that’s the first sunburst appearance I’d ever seen in my life. I also remember he helped me with the clerking of an unfriendly patient with lumbar spondylosis.
He’s small in size and sort of adorable. Well, apparently, he wasn’t as knowledgeable and formidably intelligent as Dr. Edmond. However, I was very fond of the former due to his humility and friendliness. I guess the last time we met was when we went to see him to have the remaining empty spaces in our logbooks signed the week before our exam.
If you guys had been reading the news, you’d have heard about 3 house officers who perished in a tragic car accident on the Land below the Wind a week before Lunar New Year. And, Dr. W’s one of them.
I sputtered in disbelief when I was told about the misfortune that befell the young aspiring doctor who’d just freed himself from 5 years of torment in med school. It must have been utterly devastating for his family members and those who knew him.
We were not friends. There was not much interaction between us. But, my heart ached.
May you rest in peace, Dr W.
So, I was very glad when Dr. W actually took the initiative to talk to us and teach us things we didn’t know. He’s a house officer in the Department of Orthopaedics then.
There’s once he helped us get the permission from the specialist in the minor operating theatre so that we could enter to observe the procedure. He showed me the sunburst appearance of the streaks of new bone radiating outwards from the cortex on the X-ray film of the patient’s wrist with osteosarcoma ( the commonest primary bone malignancy). And that’s the first sunburst appearance I’d ever seen in my life. I also remember he helped me with the clerking of an unfriendly patient with lumbar spondylosis.
He’s small in size and sort of adorable. Well, apparently, he wasn’t as knowledgeable and formidably intelligent as Dr. Edmond. However, I was very fond of the former due to his humility and friendliness. I guess the last time we met was when we went to see him to have the remaining empty spaces in our logbooks signed the week before our exam.
If you guys had been reading the news, you’d have heard about 3 house officers who perished in a tragic car accident on the Land below the Wind a week before Lunar New Year. And, Dr. W’s one of them.
I sputtered in disbelief when I was told about the misfortune that befell the young aspiring doctor who’d just freed himself from 5 years of torment in med school. It must have been utterly devastating for his family members and those who knew him.
We were not friends. There was not much interaction between us. But, my heart ached.
May you rest in peace, Dr W.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Lunar New Year
How's everyone celebrating Lunar New Year?
Wanted to write a lengthy post on how I celebrated CNY and my birthday. But, I guess i just didn't have the time. Was back for only 5 days.
My 23rd birthday is kinda special as I had the opportunity to blow the candles twice.
It's 3.30 am and we're gambling in Boon Ai's house. At the very moment when I thought my birthday had been forgotten, the lights were switched off and the host emerged from the darkness with 2 slices of cakes with lit candles on them. How sweet!
20 hours later, Nemo and Fang Lian came to my house with a Secret Recipe cake. There's a gathering in my house that night. And I really didn't see that coming. I was more than elated to have another round of cake-cutting and wish-making.
I bet you know how it feels when people actually remember your birthday and give you pleasant surprises. Besides, you know who really mean it when they say they care about you. I was kinda awkward and appeared blunted when everyone's singing around me. Yet, deep down in my heart, I was touched. My thoughts sorta reeled back to the moments when we're in high school. I miss the days when we studied like mad to ace in examinations and how we motivated one another. I miss the intense fear I felt before I sat for a paper. I miss the 3 guys I fell in love with but never had the chance to confess. I miss eating Nasi Lemak with Kelvin after Azurani's class. I miss Additional Mathematics and Chemistry. I miss debating. I miss the first blowjob in my life (though it was less than satisfactory), thanks to Kelvin. I miss fooling around with my classmates. I miss my graduation trip.
Except for the fact that I was outrageously fat, I had an otherwise happy adolescence. The memories I had during that period of time will never be obliterated from my mind.
Now, it seems almost everyone has got a stable relationship. It's not surprising at all to see everyone get married in a few years' time. And obviously, I'll be the one constantly bombarded with such questions as ' Where's your girlfriend? ' , 'Why you still don't have girlfriend ah? ', ' You so *toot* also nobody wants ah?', ' Are you gay?' and so on.
I'm not sure if we'll have gatherings of this scale in future when everyone's got his or her own family, career and kids. I don't know if I'll be gradually forgotten but right now what I can do is to cherish what I have.
God, let me pass my Psychiatry exam next week and please make Caleb gay. If the latter is not possible, get me a replacement by my next birthday. =)
Wanted to write a lengthy post on how I celebrated CNY and my birthday. But, I guess i just didn't have the time. Was back for only 5 days.
My 23rd birthday is kinda special as I had the opportunity to blow the candles twice.
It's 3.30 am and we're gambling in Boon Ai's house. At the very moment when I thought my birthday had been forgotten, the lights were switched off and the host emerged from the darkness with 2 slices of cakes with lit candles on them. How sweet!
20 hours later, Nemo and Fang Lian came to my house with a Secret Recipe cake. There's a gathering in my house that night. And I really didn't see that coming. I was more than elated to have another round of cake-cutting and wish-making.
I bet you know how it feels when people actually remember your birthday and give you pleasant surprises. Besides, you know who really mean it when they say they care about you. I was kinda awkward and appeared blunted when everyone's singing around me. Yet, deep down in my heart, I was touched. My thoughts sorta reeled back to the moments when we're in high school. I miss the days when we studied like mad to ace in examinations and how we motivated one another. I miss the intense fear I felt before I sat for a paper. I miss the 3 guys I fell in love with but never had the chance to confess. I miss eating Nasi Lemak with Kelvin after Azurani's class. I miss Additional Mathematics and Chemistry. I miss debating. I miss the first blowjob in my life (though it was less than satisfactory), thanks to Kelvin. I miss fooling around with my classmates. I miss my graduation trip.
Except for the fact that I was outrageously fat, I had an otherwise happy adolescence. The memories I had during that period of time will never be obliterated from my mind.
Now, it seems almost everyone has got a stable relationship. It's not surprising at all to see everyone get married in a few years' time. And obviously, I'll be the one constantly bombarded with such questions as ' Where's your girlfriend? ' , 'Why you still don't have girlfriend ah? ', ' You so *toot* also nobody wants ah?', ' Are you gay?' and so on.
I'm not sure if we'll have gatherings of this scale in future when everyone's got his or her own family, career and kids. I don't know if I'll be gradually forgotten but right now what I can do is to cherish what I have.
God, let me pass my Psychiatry exam next week and please make Caleb gay. If the latter is not possible, get me a replacement by my next birthday. =)
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