我曾经很自信地认为, 自己是不会喜欢上你的。
对一个不可能发展的感情, 我不会抱太大的期望。
然而, 我还是彻底地败给你的魅力。
不得不承认, 我已不知不觉的喜欢上你。
我多么希望这是假的。
即使有一千个,一万个不愿意, 我始终还是压抑不住, 内心对你的喜欢。
喜欢是个很肤浅的名词。与爱相比, 它差远了 。但, 它却足以无时无刻地勾起我对你的思念。
我不敢奢求你的回报。否则, 换来的会是沮丧和心痛。
我只是想用文字, 把此时此刻心中的感觉, 刻在这里。
就让时间来冲淡一切吧!
但愿幸福可以一直陪伴着你, 直到永远。
我会默默地把这美丽的回忆藏在心里, 快乐地活下去。
相信, 这已足够把我心中的幸福填满。
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
3/3/09
I sat for the practical paper today.
There were quite a number of questions on patient education and counselling. Did a lot of talking. General practice is such, I guess. Had to counsel a chap with cancer of the prostate gland. Taught an asthmatic how to use a puffer. And spoke to another lady suffering from mild depression.
A lot common sense. And logic. I don't think I'd have performed worse than I did had I not burnt the midnight oil for the past few days.
Yet, there's no excuse that I should be relaxing or slacking off. 3 more papers on theory on Thursday. Arghh!!
There were quite a number of questions on patient education and counselling. Did a lot of talking. General practice is such, I guess. Had to counsel a chap with cancer of the prostate gland. Taught an asthmatic how to use a puffer. And spoke to another lady suffering from mild depression.
A lot common sense. And logic. I don't think I'd have performed worse than I did had I not burnt the midnight oil for the past few days.
Yet, there's no excuse that I should be relaxing or slacking off. 3 more papers on theory on Thursday. Arghh!!
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Doom
I'm engulfed by the feeling of inferiority and that of an impending doom.
I'm not happy. I have a lot of things to write. But, I just don't have the time at the moment.
It's examination week again. I just got to know that there'll be a separate paper for forensic medicine. I thought the questions on forensic medicine would be combined with those on general practice. But no. That's not the case now. Which means I have to study in details of EVERYTHING!!
God, please help me!
I regret not being diligent enough.
I'm not happy. I have a lot of things to write. But, I just don't have the time at the moment.
It's examination week again. I just got to know that there'll be a separate paper for forensic medicine. I thought the questions on forensic medicine would be combined with those on general practice. But no. That's not the case now. Which means I have to study in details of EVERYTHING!!
God, please help me!
I regret not being diligent enough.
Friday, February 13, 2009
22
I'll turn 22 tomorrow.
Ahh....I wish I weren't single. Last Valentine's Day, I prayed I wouldn't be single on my 22nd birthday. But still, I am.
Happy Valentine's Day, people!
=)
Ahh....I wish I weren't single. Last Valentine's Day, I prayed I wouldn't be single on my 22nd birthday. But still, I am.
Happy Valentine's Day, people!
=)
Monday, February 9, 2009
Lately..
I’ve been busy lately, which explains why I’ve not been blogging much.
I’m currently attached to a general practice clinic. Basically one of those ubiquitous clinics run by medical practitioners you commonly see. General practice focuses on primary health care. The environment and management of diseases are completely different from those in the hospital.
Well, I find my attachment a tad too boring. Not many patients. I did come across patients with rhonchi (wheezes) in the lungs and had the chance to advise an extremely obese chap whose weight exceeded 125 kg on diet control and exercise. Yet, the excitement I’m experiencing is much less in comparison to that in medicine posting. Besides, of the doctors at the clinic is a racist. And I’ve been victimized for the past one week. Racism is ugly and scary, don’t you think so?
Apart from that, I’ve been feeling very dumb of late, principally because of laziness. I’ve been slacking off. I seem to have lost the diligent and industrious part of me in the pre-clinical years. Still in the CNY mood, perhaps.
Tiredness didn’t stop me from meeting AZ a few days back. An adorable and chatty young pilot. He happened to be in KK for work purposes. We decided to meet for the first time. I initially enlisted his help in getting the contact number of a hot air-steward I saw on a flight last November. Befriending the hot air-steward (probably gay) now seems to be a fantasy that’ll not materialize. Yet, AZ and I have become friends instead. Heh.
Thanks for the lunch and coffee, mate. Look forward to seeing you again.
I’m currently attached to a general practice clinic. Basically one of those ubiquitous clinics run by medical practitioners you commonly see. General practice focuses on primary health care. The environment and management of diseases are completely different from those in the hospital.
Well, I find my attachment a tad too boring. Not many patients. I did come across patients with rhonchi (wheezes) in the lungs and had the chance to advise an extremely obese chap whose weight exceeded 125 kg on diet control and exercise. Yet, the excitement I’m experiencing is much less in comparison to that in medicine posting. Besides, of the doctors at the clinic is a racist. And I’ve been victimized for the past one week. Racism is ugly and scary, don’t you think so?
Apart from that, I’ve been feeling very dumb of late, principally because of laziness. I’ve been slacking off. I seem to have lost the diligent and industrious part of me in the pre-clinical years. Still in the CNY mood, perhaps.
Tiredness didn’t stop me from meeting AZ a few days back. An adorable and chatty young pilot. He happened to be in KK for work purposes. We decided to meet for the first time. I initially enlisted his help in getting the contact number of a hot air-steward I saw on a flight last November. Befriending the hot air-steward (probably gay) now seems to be a fantasy that’ll not materialize. Yet, AZ and I have become friends instead. Heh.
Thanks for the lunch and coffee, mate. Look forward to seeing you again.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Aiyor!
I broke my spec. Damn it. I didn't realize it was on my bed. And I lied on it. Damn it. My brand new spec which is barely 5-month-old. Aiyor!!
My parents are pretty generous this year. I initially thought of using my ang pau money to buy a new watch. The old one was spoilt already. But now, it seems that I have to buy a new pair of glasses instead. I can't be wearing my contact lenses all the time. Aiyor!!
The CNY break has come to an end. I shall fly back to see more corpses. And I haven't even started doing my autopsy reports that need to be submitted the day after tomorrow. Aiyor!!
And I left my cologne and wax at home. Aiyor!!
I seriously need to learn to be less clumsy.
My parents are pretty generous this year. I initially thought of using my ang pau money to buy a new watch. The old one was spoilt already. But now, it seems that I have to buy a new pair of glasses instead. I can't be wearing my contact lenses all the time. Aiyor!!
The CNY break has come to an end. I shall fly back to see more corpses. And I haven't even started doing my autopsy reports that need to be submitted the day after tomorrow. Aiyor!!
And I left my cologne and wax at home. Aiyor!!
I seriously need to learn to be less clumsy.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
CNY
Ate a lot. Drank a lot. Gambled a lot. Met many old friends.
Chinese New Year is definitely one of the periods of time in the year during which I feel most sinful.
I can literally feel my tummy enlarging.
CNY is also when you catch up on the latest events in others' lives. I noticed that those who made fun of me when I was a fat boy had now become gigantic and fat themselves. I greeted them with a sadistic grin when they said hi.
Besides, just like what I'd anticipated, I still am not spared from the inevitable onslaught of questions on why I'm not having a girlfriend yet. Everyone is wondering and curious. And I have to come up with the same old lame excuses and fabricated information as far as my love life is concerned.
The hardest part is still my mom. I just feel very sorry.
Everyone seems to have found a boyfriend or girlfriend. My friends. My cousins. And if I'm not mistaken my biological brother, Derek, who's 8 years older than me, is going to get married in half a year's time.
For the first time in my life, I feel very incompetent being gay. Really. Extremely aware though I am of the need to be happy and optimistic, inferiority always succeeds in finding a way to enshroud my soul, no matter how hard I defend myself against it.
Chinese New Year is definitely one of the periods of time in the year during which I feel most sinful.
I can literally feel my tummy enlarging.
CNY is also when you catch up on the latest events in others' lives. I noticed that those who made fun of me when I was a fat boy had now become gigantic and fat themselves. I greeted them with a sadistic grin when they said hi.
Besides, just like what I'd anticipated, I still am not spared from the inevitable onslaught of questions on why I'm not having a girlfriend yet. Everyone is wondering and curious. And I have to come up with the same old lame excuses and fabricated information as far as my love life is concerned.
The hardest part is still my mom. I just feel very sorry.
Everyone seems to have found a boyfriend or girlfriend. My friends. My cousins. And if I'm not mistaken my biological brother, Derek, who's 8 years older than me, is going to get married in half a year's time.
For the first time in my life, I feel very incompetent being gay. Really. Extremely aware though I am of the need to be happy and optimistic, inferiority always succeeds in finding a way to enshroud my soul, no matter how hard I defend myself against it.
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