Nature and I

It's pretty boring to be at home, to be honest. What's more, most of my close friends are not back in town. My course structure is a bit different from theirs. More often than not, my holidays don't coincide with theirs too.

Hence, in order to escape from boredom, I jog at the riverside occasionally in a dismal attempt to maintain my weight (which I think I've failed to), apart from squandering my time on Planetromeo and watching Jap porn. Though it definitely doesn't burn as many calories as working out in a gym does, I guess the invigorating fresh air, breath-taking greenery and tranquility which environment has to offer are worth it. Oh ya...not to mention the sweaty muscular guys who jog past me and greet my nostrils with their sexually arousing body scent. I also notice that they are fond of taking their shirts off after a vigorous jog to let their bodies cool down, generously exposing the beautiful bulges that sometimes turn me on.

Reflection of the sky and the evergreen trees on the still water surface....

An abandoned dinghy

Have you seen a cotton tree before? Those banana-like entities are actually unripe cotton seeds.That's the cotton.

I saw a baby monkey in captivity. Chained to a tree. I guess it helps its master to pluck coconuts from the coconut trees.

Rejected

AZ called me that night.

AZ: I think I found your air-steward.

Joe: Oh really? How?

AZ: In my Friendster list. I didn't know he'd been there all the while. The one who looks Chinese, right?

Joe: Yeah yeah... Give me his ID. Quick!

AZ: I'll sms it you.

Joe: Wait...you're telling me he's in your Friendster list 2 months after I asked you to help me locate him?

AZ: Err...


Ever since the interesting encounter I had with Emmet, the charming air-steward, I'd always coveted the chance to befriend him or perhaps just meet him again. I thought it's pretty memorable. That's the first time in my life I knew my gaydar was functioning. The very first time a male stranger flirted with me non-orally... oh ..erm...I mean, non-verbally and made me feel attractive.

Thanks to AZ, I finally got his profile. My blood pressure shot up to 200 mm Hg when I recognized the guy on the screen and exclaimed, "That's him!"

I still remember the powerful energy which travelled in rhythmic waves from his eyes to mine, and vice-versa. I remember his angelic, radiant smile, which made my heart bloom with lust and joy. The gentle touch of his palm on my left shoulder, which made me fly. And his voice, which had a magical quality to it, that sent charges of electricity into me.

Yet, what shatters my heart now is that the message I sent him remains unreplied. It simply means he's not interested, doesn't it? I must have sounded a little too inappropriate when I wrote the message, during which I was blinded by excitement and elation, I suppose.

All of a sudden, I begin to doubt if our eye contact was merely a fantasy and his touch on my shoulder a tactile hallucination of mine. Perhaps, he smiled simply because he had too. Perhaps, I was really hallucinating. Perhaps, he's not even gay.

AZ asked me to forget about him. And I'm going to act upon his suggestion.

Why does everyone seem to have his own Prince Charming (especially one with a hot bod) to write about? Why? Sometimes, I really do wish I had one too. Really.

14/4/09

It's been a while, I guess. Spent a lot of time hunting for guys on Axcest and Planetromeo. Yet, all I can say is, my efforts weren't very fruitful. Heh. I did make couples of hot friends, though.

Planned to travel to Bangkok next month with a few friends. However, the recent upheaval in the capital has made us change our minds. Perhaps, we'll think of somewhere else to go.

My professional exam will be held on May 4. Time to be less desperate and study more.

Hiking

Came back early from the ward today. Nothing much. Clerked a man who had myocardial infarction. Boring. And the handsome Malay medical officer didn't show up.

Decided to hike the hill behind my house. I've gained 2 kg, a predicted outcome of one week of over-eating in KL.

A view from the summit. Paddy fields are abundant in my home state.

At home

I'm home. For a month. I've chosen to do my elective posting in a hospital in my hometown so that I can eat and sleep better as I prepare for my professional exam in early May. It's going to be a tough exam I guess. We'll be tested on subjects that we've been taught for the past 3 years.

It does feel great to be at home. It's just awesome with all the privacy and freedom to do anything I like.

Though cozy, my room is always in a mess. Ahhh...

How I wish I didn't have to go back to my hostel.

Torn

I thought I saw a man brought to life.

I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake
And I can see
The perfect sky is torn

Flying back

The exam is over. The papers are hard. And I guess I'll manage to keep my head above the passing mark of 65 % and not have to resit any paper.

I'm flying to KL in a few hours time.

Speaking about travelling by plane, whenever the plane jerks due to air turbulence, the thought that the place might crash almost always emerges in my mind.

So, what do you do when you know the plane that you are on board is going to crash?

I'd write " Mommy, I love you. I haven't got the chance to tell you I'm gay. " with my full name below it on a piece of paper and tuck it into my mouth.

One of the most relevant things I've learnt from forensic dentistry or odontology, a sub-specialty of forensic medicine, is that the teeth are the hardest and most resistant tissues in the body. They can survive total decomposition and severe fire.

Hence, as far as I'm concerned, the police or forensic pathologist will be able to find the piece of paper in my oral cavity and identify my remains effortlessly, even after my body has been horrendously mutilated and my face burnt beyond recognition. Then, only can my family members make the necessary arrangements for my body to be formally buried or cremated so that my soul will rest in peace.

But still, considering the agony and the amount of mutilation my body would have to endure, dying in a mass disaster like a plane crash is definitely not how I want to depart this world, . Let's hope that I'll have a safe journey, so that I'll be able to meet the people I've planned to meet and do the things I want to do in KL.