Homophobia is sickening

Never in my life had I felt so threatened by homophobia until today.

It's utterly disappointing when someone who's supposed to be on your side suddenly turns against you.

'Please do not comment about my sexuality in public in future.'

I so wanted to send her this message but after a second thought, I didn't. I knew it wouldn't help and would only cause our faltering friendship to crumble.

On another occasion, someone said this to me. ' See that effeminate guy? He'll soon become gay. That's how homosexuality occurs. First, you turn sissy. And as time passes by, you sort of metamorphose into a gay.'

I stared at him in incredulity. Those were the words which came from a 4th-year med student. And he wasn't aware that he's making that statement to a guy who's been gay for more than a decade.

For some stupid reason, I've been trying to give a hint to people around me that I'm gay. Yeah, I know it's idiotic. And I'll stop doing this from tomorrow onwards.

It hurts to realize that all I've got is myself. I promise I'll work harder. I've gotta be strong and resilient. I want to be formidable. I want to be outstanding and successful in life as this is one of the very few ways I can feel good about myself. And may the offspring of all the homophobic morons out there be gay so that the latter will understand how sickening homophobia can be some day.

Patience

The traffic jam really drives me crazy. I hate the fact that there are so many people and vehicles wherever I go. I wish the main roads could be widened and more flyovers built to ameliorate the traffic condition during peak hours. And I so wish that we had a teaching hospital within walking distance. I can't help but silently curse in frustration when I'm stranded in a deluge of cars moving at a snail's pace. Oh damn ... so annoying.

But, whenever my temper hovers near its boiling point, I can hear an inner voice telling me to calm down and be patient. I do comply, though it's really hard. Of course, this isn't only about the heavy traffic which tires me out. I'm exasperated by someone's poor sense of punctuality which ruined my plans today. I'm irritated by the fact that someone who blatantly ignores my feelings and expects me to be a gentleman all the time just because I'm a guy. And I keep telling myself to be patient every day when things don't pan out quite as expected.

As far as my studies are concerned, I'm doing fine. I've learnt how to perform an intubation (on a mannequin) and I have to say that anaesthesiology, which revolves around the art of knocking someone out, is quite interesting and extremely challenging. And I've decided to do my elective posting next year in Taiwan. The Taiwanese guys had better be as cute and twinky as those I see in the dramas and my porn. And who knows I'll bump into Willy? =)

Oh ya. I chanced upon someone who looked familiar in the hospital the other day. My mind registered the near-perfect physique of a man, searched my memory for a match and found one. He's one of the guys whose profile I came across on Planetromeo. Actually, that's not the first time I saw him. I'd always covertly checked out his ass. So, now I know a hot gay medical officer who works in the obstetrics and gynaecology department. =p