7 years

He was the first guy I felt deeply in love with. That was 7 years ago.

He played this song for me. I sat beside him. I secretly wished he would reciprocate my love.

And 7 years ago, I came out to him too.

7 years later

Same song

Same person

He's still straight.

The feelings are gone. But, we're still friends.

But, I still remember how I felt 7 years ago. And how my heart melted whenever he played that song for me while I sat silently beside him, watching his fingers dance gracefully on the keys.

Watching his debut video clip on YouTube makes me feel as though I'm revisiting a place where everything has changed except the scenery and surrounding environment. It also reminds me of the reasons for which I subconsciously fell for him.

去年今日此门中，
人面桃花相映红。 
人面不知何处去，
桃花依旧笑春风。

WALL-E

It’s a love story between a somewhat obsolete robot and a sophisticated robotic probe.

WALL-E’s initial dismal attempts to hold EVE’s hand is a portrayal of how sweet falling in love can be, even among robotic beings.

EVE becomes temporarily comatose after having discovered the sign of life on earth (a seedling plant ) which symbolizes the possibility that mankind could someday return to earth. The fact that he adamantly clings on to the belief that she’ll wake up and that he goes to great lengths to protect her deactivated body, touched my heart.

Then, EVE is retrieved by the spaceship which sent her. WALL-E follows her and embarks upon a journey to outer space, uncertain of what lies ahead and awaits him. His willingness to sacrifice and unflinching determination to win her heart, made me want to fall in love.

And the final scene of their holding hands together, caressing each other’s head and kissing (via electrostatic discharge) was really heart-warming. It made my heart smile. It dawned on me how beautiful love could be.

Is love as simple as holding hands and being there for him whenever he needs you?

Can love ever be so simple, and yet so genuine and sweet?

Coming clean

"If you like someone, make sure you take the first move. Don't just wait and expect to be noticed coz if you are like that, then forever people won't notice you."

Darren wrote that.

All of a sudden, my mind is deluged by memories of the days when I was in love with KS. A straight guy. Back in high school.

I was secretly in love with him for 2 years until one day, I finally decided to come clean with him about my feelings for him, no matter how catastrophic the consequences might be.

So, a few months before the SPM examination, I came out to KS and told him that I loved him.

And he said he truly appreciated me for my bravery and veracity but apologized for he didn't feel the same towards me.

Somehow, I wasn't really disappointed, perhaps because I never expected my feelings to be reciprocated.

Nonetheless, I'm glad that our friendship wasn't affected. We're, in fact, still good friends. Heh.