Perhaps...perhaps...

I'll be spending the next 7 weeks in a town called Sandakan. I, together with 23 other students, have been arranged to do our surgery posting there.

Heard that we'll be staying in the nurses' dorm. And doubt we'll have internet access. Which means, I won't be blogging much.

We'll be setting off in a few hours' time. It's going to be a new environment. Naturally, as usual, I'm a little neurotic and am sleepless.

Lately, a friend of mine just came out to his parents who're devastated (I suppose) and unable to come to terms with their son's sexuality. Many things surfaced in my mind. I thought about the gay websites I visited that my dad found out. 3 years ago. They talked to me about it....in a rather nonchalant manner. I played dumb, of course.

I think they know it. I can tell.

My dad has never asked me why I haven't got a girlfriend. He knows it, I guess. Perhaps, he understands. On the other hand, my mom is in a stage what I'd refer to as denial. She never stops worrying about my not having a girlfriend yet.

Sometimes, I wish I were straight. Yet, guys are so beautiful. So irresistible. So appealing. So appetizing. There's nothing on earth I'd exchange for my preference for guys.

Or perhaps, my parents are still not yet aware of my being gay. Ignorant of the many typical gay characteristics I display in my behaviour. Oblivious to the fact that I like guys.

Perhaps, I'm being too apprehensive.

Perhaps...

A smile so seductive

He smiled to me. A smile so enchanting and alluring.

Inexplicably, I could tell he liked me.

I could tell, based on my gay instincts and from his gestures, that he’s gay.

I could tell, based on my intuitions, that it wasn’t a simple smile. But a smile blazing with seduction.

Many a time, our eyes met. It sent flickers of electricity through my entire body. I wanted to get to know him but was too timid and shy. I always looked at him, gave him an equally seductive smile and promptly looked away because I was too shy.

Well, he’s an air-steward on board my flight from KL to X. Very handsome and adorable.

I sat on an aisle seat. He intentionally touched my shoulder once when he passed by. I knew immediately that that’s nothing but a signal that he’s interested in me.

My intention was pure. I just wanted to befriend him. Somehow, this couldn’t explain the sustained erection I had.

We’re apparently interested in each other. I was waiting for him to take the first move and give me his number. Sad to say, he wasn’t bold enough to approach me too. Consequently, in the end, nothing happened.

I really regret for not being proactive enough.

I’ve tried to search for him on Friendster and Facebook but to no avail. I really do regret now. I’m not going to repeat the mistake, if I ever get to see him again.

Nevertheless, at least now I know I can attract people even with my hair unwaxed and when I wear glasses. =)

Slutting adventure

When I was on the way to the airport, I was smiling. My heart was smiling too, as I reminisced the wonderful moments I had during my one-week vacation in KL.

I haven’t felt so genuinely happy for some time.

I guess I owe Gor a.k.a William Ng a big thank for recognizing me as the self-proclaimed President of William’s Di Association. Had it not been him, I wouldn’t have got the opportunity to get acquainted to such gregarious and approachable people as Cheryl, Alex and so on.

Thanks a lot, Chester, for driving me here and there, enabling me to meet the people I wanted to meet. Thank you for organizing the gathering at Xenri which rendered me the chance to reunite with Gor and befriend Eric whom I thought was pretty hot).

Thanks a lot, Cheryl, for bringing me to a lunch in which Alex failed to turn up. LOL. You’re such a wonderful woman. I’ll always give you the respect you deserve as Gor’s Dear.Thanks a lot, Pikey a.k.a Tofu, for the sincerity and altruism that you’d shown to me, despite the fact that you’re no longer single. I really do appreciate you.

Thanks a lot, Jason, for treating me to a meal at the Gardens and not minding the fact that I idolize Alex.

Thanks a lot, Kai Ting, for footing the bill when we high-tead in a Taiwanese restaurant in Pavillion.

Thanks a lot, Alex, for putting such a beautiful end to my slutting adventure in KL. I don't know how to describe the elation I felt. Your body scent made you even more dazzling. (Err… I didn’t purposely sniff you la, ok? I’m no pervert. It’s just your cologne.)

Last but not least, I’d also like to express my gratitude to Mikey, Lulu, Tan Tart and Piano who brought me all the way to Klang for dinner.

Hotties I met : Alex, Pluboy, Gor.

Cuties I met: Queer Ranter (so damn adorable ), Jason, Chester, Cheryl, Lulu.

I really miss you guys. I really do. Thanks for making my vacation so memorable and enjoyable.

My surgery posting starts today. It’s going to be another cycle of stress, endless mugging and the inevitable end-of-posting exam.

Away from stress

Sat for the last paper 2 days ago.

Yet, the ordeal....and the torture...are nothing more than a distant memory now.

....

I reached KL yesterday.


Met up my straight friends as well as Pikey and Chester.

....


It feels so great...to not have to be confined to my tiny little room to study.

It feels so great...to not have to wake up in the morning and shudder at the thought that the exam is approaching.