CNY

Ate a lot. Drank a lot. Gambled a lot. Met many old friends.

Chinese New Year is definitely one of the periods of time in the year during which I feel most sinful.

I can literally feel my tummy enlarging.

CNY is also when you catch up on the latest events in others' lives. I noticed that those who made fun of me when I was a fat boy had now become gigantic and fat themselves. I greeted them with a sadistic grin when they said hi.

Besides, just like what I'd anticipated, I still am not spared from the inevitable onslaught of questions on why I'm not having a girlfriend yet. Everyone is wondering and curious. And I have to come up with the same old lame excuses and fabricated information as far as my love life is concerned.

The hardest part is still my mom. I just feel very sorry.

Everyone seems to have found a boyfriend or girlfriend. My friends. My cousins. And if I'm not mistaken my biological brother, Derek, who's 8 years older than me, is going to get married in half a year's time.

For the first time in my life, I feel very incompetent being gay. Really. Extremely aware though I am of the need to be happy and optimistic, inferiority always succeeds in finding a way to enshroud my soul, no matter how hard I defend myself against it.

Almost home

I reached Penang safely this morning. Yay!!

Am at my sister's house. Got to see my niece for the first time. Hadn't got the chance to see her since she's born. And my nephew is such a big boy already.

Later tonight, I'll travel up north to my hometown. I'm almost home.

My original break only lasts 4 days. But, I've decided to play truant. Hence, I have 9 days altogether. I'm in forensic medicine posting. And I've completed my log book and seen enough of autopsies. Some of classmates who'll going back on the 2nd or 3rd day of CNY tried to intimidate me by saying that I'll be barred from sitting the end-of-posting examination. I don't know. I don't care. I think that's insane.

The most exciting thing about being at home is having unlimited access to internet, something which most people out there take for granted.

Well, Happy Chinese New Year, people!!

新年快乐,万事如意!

What I'd tell an angel

My mom called last night.

Me: Why am I so big in size? Did you have gestational diabetes mellitus (GDM) when I was in your womb?

Mom: I don’t know.

Me: Did you give birth to me by Caesarean section?

Mom: No. You came out from down there.

Me: Was it painful? The obstetric patients in the hospital look so painful when they’re in labour.

Mom: Of course it was!!

Me: You still remember?

Mom: Of course!! If you ever treat me badly in future. I will….

The hospital is a living hell where people go through immense sufferings, emotionally and physically. They say it is a place where you pay off your debts that you owed and get punished for the sins you committed in your previous incarnations.

Cancers devour your flesh, make you cachexic, deprive you of your zest for life and eventually dampen your determination to move on. Renal failure makes you a candidate for haemodialysis and significantly deteriorates your quality of life. Chronic diabetes mellitus puts you on a higher risk of developing stroke, decelerates the healing process of your wounds, blurs your vision and so on. Stroke may rob you of your ability to speak and lead to contralateral hemiplegia and sensory loss or visuo-spatial deficit, depending on where the infarcts in your brain are.

My mom plays a vital role in making who I am today (except the gay part).Had it not been her unconditional love and support, I don’t think I would have survived all the hurdles I have come across. I’m scared that someday, my mom will end up in the hospital too, crippled by diseases and haunted by the fear of dying. I hope that she’ll always be blessed with good health and if possible, longevity. This, is what I would tell an angel, if he offers to honour a wish of mine.

Mummy, I love you. :)