F

It was already midnight.

I was partially drunk as he walked me to his car.

Under the faint moonlight, I squinted my eyes and looked hard at the silhouette of the man whom I was on the brink of falling for. And I had the sudden uncanny thought of buying him a bottle of cologne. Perhaps, the one I'm using too.

Just as I boarded his car, he handed a bottle of eau de toilette - F, by Ferragamo.

I was stunned for few miliseconds and laughed at myself deep in my heart.

After he'd dropped me off, I sprinted to my room when his car was out of sigh like a kid with a newly bought ice-cream, and quickly sprayed it on my neck.

Not bad, I thought. Still a little inferior compared to my Clinique's Happy (my most favourite). Yet, I do like the perfume he gave me.

There were a few occasions I disliked certain guys I dated because they didn't wear the right perfume. On the contrary, the right perfume / scent almost always naturally magnifies the liking I have for someone.

To me, smell, does matter.

Flirting in Mandarin

                                                            

   

Flirted with a chap on Grindr who apparently doesn't write English. Not even Manglish.

Hence, I had to flirt with him in Mandarin. Only then did I realize it's actually pretty difficult to sound lascivious in my mother tongue, when you remove the auditory, visual and tactile stimuli which are what sex is fundamentally all about. 

I wanted write the word 'horny' in Mandarin. But, I had a hard time thinking of the correct translation. 欲火焚身？No. Sounds too idiomatic. I wanted something dirtier. Something that'd sound more sexually arousing. And for heaven's sake, I didn't even know the informal term for 'cock' in Mandarin. 阳具？Nah. Sounds too academic.

Just when Lucifer Jr. was beginning to get a little aroused, I noticed he'd gone offline. Haha. Couldn't blame him for being a bitch. I guess I was just too slow in replying.

Time to watch more Taiwanese porn, perhaps.

On a separate note, what's your Grindr-ing experience like?

It's actually quite flattering sometimes to receive requests for sex, which sometimes contribute to my having the delusion that I'm hot. For people who often look at their naked selves in the mirror and sigh in exasperation and hopelessness like me, even that tiny bit of confidence is good enough. Occasionally, I may even sound egoistic and indifferent on purpose, just for the fun of it, unless they're really hot and so my type.

One rule I've discovered about Grindr is hot guys are never nice, and nice guys are usually not hot. Guess I'm somewhere in between? And sex, which's what Grindr's principally designed for in the in first place, is almost always an inevitable topic of conversation. 

Gotta be less demanding. Otherwise, I think I'll forever be doomed to suffer the agonizing wait for the appearance of Prince Charming  in my seemingly never-ending bachelorhood. Displaying  the nicest pic which I've got in my entire photo album with the fugly parts skilfully hidden no longer works its magic.

Little things

I'm seldom impressed by popular artists who can sell millions of copies for each of their album, unless they're really talented and extraordinary. No doubt, the songs may be awesome and they do serve their entertainment purposes. Nonetheless, no matter how good they are, it's just their occupation. The same goes for a chef who can cook the most delectable meal on earth or a pianist who can play Moonlight Sonata 3rd Movement flawlessly.

But, I have a soft spot for guys who surprise me with their latent talents, which may be decidedly ordinary but awe-inspiring.

Let's say you're kinda into this cute guy who also happens to be a bit muscular. And then one day, you visit his blog, only to realize he'd posted your most favourite sentimental love song that he dedicated specially to you. Not sure how you'll react. But, I'll definitely search high and low for the 'Marry Me' button.

I came across this interesting blog authored by Chinese Prick in which he recently dedicated a Chinese song to a certain someone. I almost had a semi-erection after listening to it. He ain't an internationally renowned singer. However, it was really touching with his guitar accompaniment in the background. His voice was melodious and resonant and it suited the lyric perfectly.

Click HERE if you wanna listen. (Just in case you dislike it, please don't say nasty things, ok? Coz if you do, I'm gonna dislike you.)

Got what I mean? It's these lil' things that melt my heart. Things like being invited to his house for a meal he cooks, which turns out to be quite palatable, and followed by a session of passionate love-making. Things like receiving a cup Cuppuccino when you're exhausted and least expect it.

I got so hyped up last night and decided to send a certain someone my incomplete, rudimentary and out-of-tune version of Lady Gaga's Born This Way in the form of an audio note over Whatsapp. I had to sing it an octave lower. Surprisingly, I received a pretty nice feedback. Hahaha. He must have been too kind with his words!

Right now, I wish someone could sing me Bruno Mars' Just The Way You Are. *stares at Tuls*