Too gay

Before graduation, a few close batch mates and I actually vowed to opt for the same hospital ( one of the busiest in JB) for our housemanship.

But then, I betrayed them. 

I appealed for a hospital in KL during our induction programme. And I succeeded. Miraculously.

For 5 years in university, I was tortured by their homophobia. My circle of friends was pretty small and hence, they're the ones I spent most of the time with. 

I totally had no opportunity to display even the tiniest bit of the homosexual part of me.

When I dated guys, I had to choose the perfect timing and location at which I knew they wouldn't appear. I studied in a small town and I didn't want to be seen with a fit and gayly handsome guy. That would raise suspicion, right?

Therefore, 5 years is enough. That's it.

So, here I am in KL, a city bustling with gay life in my home country. The most dramatic thing that has occurred in my life here is that, I don't have straight friends now. I've just realized that. In the past, I used to always lament over not having enough gay friends. Nonetheless, at present, it's the other way round. I only hang out with gay friends. A overly gay phenomenon that worries me.

I don't mix with my colleagues after work. My straight colleagues I mean. Maybe I'm gotten too gay that I've forgotten how to socialize with straight people. 

And hey, I'm still single. Yes, I know. I Grindr. They're so many gay doctors around me. I have a gay roommate. My floor mates next door are gay. The cardiologist is gay. Gay nurses. Gay medical officers. Gay housemen. I see them almost every day. 

Perhaps, I'm just hopelessly obsolete when it comes to love. 

Oh ya, on a separate note, I haven't really been a good boy here, if you know what I mean. Kinda saddening. Coz I'm no longer an innocent guy with cherries no one dares to pop.

Organ donation

That cute, topless Indian guy beckoned me over.

And enthusiastically told me in fluent Mandarin that he wanted sign up for organ donation.

I was moved.

I don't know what it's like to experience years of recurrent severe headache with epistaxis and bilateral ear bleeding and vomiting as well as mild right-sided body weakness with sensory involvement.

Yes, he has a brain tumor. Planned for surgery next year which carries a high risk of post-operative memory loss and further neurological deficits.

And he's only 24. My age.

He said he wanted his organs to continue to live and prolong the lives of others after his death.

His courage and optimism touched the deepest part of my heart. I have a lot to learn from him.

Scrumptious McVet

We went to Frangipani the Friday night before last.

As I boarded the car, McVet handed two mooncakes to me.

I finished the mooncakes the following day.

I felt deeply touched while I was eating them. And I was truly happy.

I was on call during the Mid-Autumn Festival this year. And I hadn't had the time to go buy mooncakes as I was busy preparing for my viva exam.

And right after the festival, no one selling it anymore, apparently. Maybe, I don't know KL well enough to look for them. Was really disappointed and down. I've always been a fan of mooncakes. Ever since I was a kid. And I was thought it's extremely pathetic if one doesn't get to eat mooncakes during the festival.

The only mooncakes I'd eaten this year were from McVet.

How can you not fall for a guy, when he knows exactly what you want and desire?

Of course, I'm not falling for McVet. :) I mean I'm not supposed to. Because it ain't right, morally speaking.

It's my honour to meet you, McVet.

Work, again

My job is sort of a hectic one I guess. I work 7 days a week. Half days on weekends if I'm not on call. I've not applied for a single day of leave. Although Market Place is just 1.2 km away from where I stay, I've only been there once since I started working in June.

It's even worse when I was in the ward 23 in which the consultant would come at 7 am. This means I had to wake up at 5.30 am and punch in by 6 am. Just nice for me to review my patient before he arrived. 

Medicine was kinda frightening in the beginning.Yet, with the passing of time, you know what to do. You roughly know what's urgent and what's not. 

In the Malaysian hospital setting, there's such a word called 'jonah' which literally means bad luck. When people say you're jonah, it means that emergencies tend to happen more when you're on call. And yours truthfully is definitely someone well-known for my jonah-ness. 

I still remember there was once I had to attend to a lady with dengue fever with compensated shock and another woman in the same cubicle with massive lower GI bleed with impending shock simultaneously. And the thing I dislike most is having to attend to patients who need multiple immediate referrals at very ungodly hours. Because it means you won't get to sleep the whole night. 

Despite all the tension, there's joy. I've been working in the coronary rehabilitation ward for the past 1 week. I had a great learning experience. Got to see things like atrial flutter, ventricular bigemminy, sick sinus syndrome and ventricular tachycardia. There's once I did a carotid massage for my patient who developed supraventricular tachycardia (SVT) and it's thrilling to see on the cardiac monitor how it instantly disappeared.

Yes. It's very rewarding to be able to do good to your patients. Simple things like correction of potassium levels and rehydration in dengue fever. Nothing heroic. But, you will feel great because you know you have the ability to help people with your medical knowledge, albeit at the biochemical or cellular level which is not noticeable.

And did I mention about the hot and sweet registrar I've been working under for the past one week? Totally my type. And I even helped him punch in and out. Haha. Perhaps, part of my joy came from him.