Monday, May 30, 2011

Flirting in Mandarin

                                                            
   



















Flirted with a chap on Grindr who apparently doesn't write English. Not even Manglish.

Hence, I had to flirt with him in Mandarin. Only then did I realize it's actually pretty difficult to sound lascivious in my mother tongue, when you remove the auditory, visual and tactile stimuli which are what sex is fundamentally all about. 

I wanted write the word 'horny' in Mandarin. But, I had a hard time thinking of the correct translation. 欲火焚身?No. Sounds too idiomatic. I wanted something dirtier. Something that'd sound more sexually arousing. And for heaven's sake, I didn't even know the informal term for 'cock' in Mandarin. 阳具?Nah. Sounds too academic.

Just when Lucifer Jr. was beginning to get a little aroused, I noticed he'd gone offline. Haha. Couldn't blame him for being a bitch. I guess I was just too slow in replying.

Time to watch more Taiwanese porn, perhaps.

On a separate note, what's your Grindr-ing experience like?

It's actually quite flattering sometimes to receive requests for sex, which sometimes contribute to my having the delusion that I'm hot. For people who often look at their naked selves in the mirror and sigh in exasperation and hopelessness like me, even that tiny bit of confidence is good enough. Occasionally, I may even sound egoistic and indifferent on purpose, just for the fun of it, unless they're really hot and so my type.

One rule I've discovered about Grindr is hot guys are never nice, and nice guys are usually not hot. Guess I'm somewhere in between? And sex, which's what Grindr's principally designed for in the in first place, is almost always an inevitable topic of conversation. 

Gotta be less demanding. Otherwise, I think I'll forever be doomed to suffer the agonizing wait for the appearance of Prince Charming  in my seemingly never-ending bachelorhood. Displaying  the nicest pic which I've got in my entire photo album with the fugly parts skilfully hidden no longer works its magic.

13 comments:

  1. you'll find love in places you least expect it to be!

    and that will make all the difference; and all the wait worthwhile!

    fret not... :) your Mr Right is out there searching for you too! :P

    ReplyDelete
  2. 1 weird grindr exp of mine is that a guy thought i'm mixed with latin or portuguese,it made my day.hahaha

    ReplyDelete
  3. cock=JJ?!erm,i guess he understand simple JJ gua......lolz...but really hard to flirt to in chinese leh....feel sad for u

    ReplyDelete
  4. omg taiwanese porn existed? hahahaha.. just watch taiwanese variety shows enough di~ its all the same, just translate directly.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Next time I dare not whatapp / Grindr (which I don't play) with you anymore...later kena expose like that, lol! Many (esp couple) has dropped Grindr, due to its flirtatious nature.

    You can use this 屌 as cock kua.

    ReplyDelete
  6. the thing is , its so difficult to find gay jap porn

    ReplyDelete
  7. Unfortunately hot guys don't need to be nice. Hence they never learnt to be :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. u r hot :)

    chan el

    ReplyDelete
  9. Vigorously nodding my head in agreement with all the comments above.

    ReplyDelete
  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Haha. Nice guys are sometimes quite acceptable, don't have to be hot. Or do they? lol

    ReplyDelete
  12. haha! Your Mandarin is too proper. 'Horny' can simply be 硬, 'cock' can simply be 鸡鸡 or 下面. Just have to be creative

    ReplyDelete