Sunday, January 23, 2011

I hate myself

I know I shouldn't hate myself. But now, I really do.

Why am I such a kid? Why am I so careless? Why can't I just grow and be a more responsible and careful adult?

Mom, sorry for all the troubles and inconvenience caused. I have no one to blame but me.

I don't like this. I wish someone could give me one tight slap as a trigger for me to cry. 

I feel so low and inferior. 

I don't like this. But, I have to go through this. To suffer the consequences of my recklessness.

I don't deserve to be happy for tonight. I shall spend my evening in silence and reflect on all my blunders. I'd also want to spend some time chanting mantras and my Guru's Heart Sutra, not to alleviate my guilt, but to calm myself down. 

I hope it's still not too late to turn over a new leaf. 

Damn. I hate this. =(


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11 comments:

  1. tulsJanuary 24, 2011 at 1:13 AM

    i love you lucifer.. *one tight slap*
    PIAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    OUCH MY HAND HURTS! HAHAHAHAAH...

    you deserve to be happy and dont think so much, it wont do you any good.. just go sleep!! ok?

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  2. JJanuary 24, 2011 at 3:33 AM

    It's never too late to turn over a new leaf...

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  3. Pike-chanJanuary 25, 2011 at 3:35 PM

    Remember to wake up and walk tall again after that period. Learn from mistakes lor.

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  4. savanteJanuary 25, 2011 at 4:18 PM

    Ouch. What happened? We're all bound to make mistakes so don't beat yourself up to much over it.

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  5. LucasJanuary 26, 2011 at 1:19 PM

    Hey is everything okay? Dont be too hard on yourself!

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  6. Ash GodivaJanuary 27, 2011 at 6:16 PM

    everyone deserves for happiness...be strong ok!:)

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  7. Little FoxFebruary 1, 2011 at 9:36 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  8. Little FoxFebruary 1, 2011 at 9:47 AM

    you asked for a slap. I delivered :P

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  9. tulsFebruary 2, 2011 at 12:21 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  10. Little FoxFebruary 2, 2011 at 10:12 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  11. tulsFebruary 2, 2011 at 10:17 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete

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