I cried

N.B.: Thalassaemia major is a genetic blood disorder that's very common in Sabah. The haemoglobin levels become very low due to increased red blood cell destruction, necessitating repeated blood transfusions for life prolongation. It's incurable and non-communicable. Thalassaemics don't live long. In the end, their hearts invariably fail.

He collapsed.

The doctor and nurses pumped in all sorts of drugs into his veins and did a cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) to save him. His ECG reading was bizarre. Ventricular fibrillation ? An endotracheal intubation was done as he was unable to breathe spontaneously.

It's an emergency.

I could hear the hysterical cries of his mother as SL and I took turns to do the chest compressions.

He suffered from beta-thalassaemia major and had developed severe decompensated heart failure and acute pulmonary oedema. A few thalassaemic patients, whom he'd got acquainted to while being hospitalized, looked from afar, stunned and helpless. I guess the situation must have freaked them out, knowing that that's how their lives were going to end.

The doctor managed to stabilize him. But, I knew deep in my heart that his prognosis was bad. The nurses left him to fill up some forms. I guess there're some routine blood investigations to be done. I volunteered to do the bag ventilation for him as there's no mechanical ventilator in the ward.

Everyone left. I suspected the doctor had relinquished all hope in reviving him. I did the bagging patiently for the next 45 minutes. Who knows there might be a miracle? This sounds ridiculous, but it's an idealism all medical students are supposed to have.

I took a hard look at his almost lifeless body. His nasal bridge was depressed. His cheekbones and forehead were prominent and his liver was huge, all of which were due to extra-medullary haemopoiesis characteristic of the disease. Iron deposition secondary to repeated blood transfusions had put on a slate-grey coat upon his skin. He opened his eyes wide to stare at me thrice. A reflex that ached my heart.

Uncontrollably, tears welled up in my eyes. I didn't see that coming, seriously. I hastily dabbed my tears and pretended to wipe away the perspiration on my forehead when a staff nurse suddenly barged in.

He died in the A&E department half an hour later.

Miracles rarely happen.