A bird unable to spread its wings

RW: Hey, we saw your car outside the mall.

Me: You did? ( Trembling…)

RW: Faster tell. Who did you go out with?

Me: What the hell?! You guys saw me with him…no I mean her? ( Sweating profusely)

TB: Nope. Feels like you don’t have lunch and dinner with us that frequent anymore. Who’ve you been going out with?

RW: Yaya. Are you seeing someone?

Me: It’s a guy. Don’t ask. (Heaving a sigh of relief…)

TB: Nah!! Liar! We aren’t kids. How can it be a guy? Faster tell. Who’s the girl? Do we know her?

RW: Be careful. Don’t let us catch you.

Me: Catch me if you can.

The perpetual interrogation I have to deal with drives me up the wall. The fact is, it’s a guy I’ve been going out with. I seldom mingle with my straight friends, who’re basically anti-gay, on weekends.

The sight of 2 immaculately dressed guys with meticulously waxed hair watching movie together on a Saturday night often suggests they’re a gay couple. That’s the likeliest differential diagnosis it invariably leads to. And definitely, when I’m out with my gay friend, bumping into my homophobic straight friends is the last thing I want.

I study in a small town where chancing upon my friends in a cinema or mall is something that occurs all too often. I avoid going to places they frequent. I park my car at secluded areas so that they don’t know my whereabouts. I’ve got to be very alert and vigilant every microsecond, with my antennae raised and prepared to vanish and submerge into the crowd anytime when a familiar face appears.

My personal space is being encroached upon and my freedom enormously restricted. I feel like a bird with a pair of beautiful wings but unable to spread them. A bird held in captivity admiring the exquisite beauty of the vast blue sky from inside its cage.

Damn. I daren’t think of what the consequences will be if they find out the so-called “girl” whom I’ve been hanging out with is in actual fact a GUY.

Straight guys can always gloat over the girls they date. And I never get to brag about the guy I go for movies with. A discrepancy between being straight and bent.