Playing basketball

I feel good. Savouring a cup of white coffee and listening to David Archuleta's songs.

Played basketball with my buddies today. Something we haven't been doing much together ever since we entered the clinical phase and we divided in different groups.

When you exercise, your pituitary gland releases endorphins into your brain and spinal cord. It has a high affinity for some opioid receptors through which morphine acts. Endorphins are responsible for reduced perception of pain and feelings of euphoria. They are secreted when you're having an orgasm. The chemicals partially explain why you feel good and high-spiritd after a strenuous exercise (or an ejaculation).

The sun was blazing. I guess we went too early. We had a vigorous play. It was extremely exhausting. I wish I were as agile and athletic as RW. I felt happy. We had lots of fun and laughter.

As we sat on the ground to give our hypoglycaemic and dehydrated bodies a break, I began to contemplate my life and future. We're already in final year. We've been good buddies, though they're hardcore homophobes. At that particular moment, I wondered if things would still be the same after graduation, as I reluctantly listened to their suggestive jokes involving the opposite gender, feigning excitement.

They've been great friends though. When something goes wrong with my car or when my car battery goes flat, they're the ones who bail me out. In short, they're just excellent in things I'm incapable or afraid of dealing with. Don't get me wrong. I'm not fond of behaving like a damsel in distress. It's just that there're certain things I can be very dumb in. No doubt, their dressing sense totally sucks and turns me off. Yet, they possess certain qualities which I find somewhat admirable.

I can prophesy myself drifting away from them in future due to their homophobic nature and antiquated ideas about homosexuality. We'll part with one another, lead different lives and meet different people. Sometimes, it's saddening that this might be the outcome even though we've shared many wonderful moments together. Nonetheless, sometimes, it's agonizing to be a gay in disguise. I always shudder at the thought of their discovering my sexuality.

Ah! What the heck? I told myself not to be so despondent about my life, being gay and continued playing basketball.

Friendships can be likened to straight lines which intersect and criss-cross your life at certain points. Somewhere along the way the friendships just cease to blossom for no apparent reason, although the footprints left in your heart are permanent. After all, how many of those who were once your best buddies are you still close to?

Before I rest my pen, I'd like to dedicate this song to you. David Archuleta's version of Angels. I've been listening to it for over and over again for the past one week. :)



I sit and wait
Does an angel contemplate my fate?
When I'm feeling weak
and my pain walks down a one way street
I look above
and I know I'll always be blessed with love.