Absence makes the heart grow fonder

We didn't play paintball last Sunday due to the torrential downpour when we arrived at the venue. The game was postponed to this morning.

The game was enjoyable. I could feel a sense of camaraderie as we fought against our opponents on the battlefield. The only thing that irked me was my lack of agility, attributable to my relatively enormous size which made me an easy target. For a moment, I wished there's a weaponry shop just like in DotA from which I could purchase an Eaglehorn to increase my agility or a Lothar's edge which would enable me to become invisible and evade the onslaught of pellets.

We did pretty well in the beginning but in the the end, we actually lost to an opponent team which only comprised girls, one of whom is my fag hag, Alicia. It's extremely humiliating. Living in a society where male chauvinism is still deeply entrenched, I couldn't help but feel that our loss was an utter disgrace. Perhaps, the game has got more to do with precision, speed and agility - which I'm devoid of - than the gender of the participants.

We had lunch in a restaurant. We hardly hang out in such a huge group these days since we've got different postings. Alicia sat opposite me.

Alicia's the only person among us who knows I'm gay. We're pretty good friends. I kinda like her because she outperforms me in almost everything. Studies, singing, debating, public speaking, drawing, dancing, general knowledge, Mathematics and the list goes on. To recapitulate, she's formidable and intimidating. Which explains why she has difficulty finding a boyfriend despite her beauty. Any straight guy would have felt daunted, I guess, unless he's talented and intellectually up to par.

But then, I always tell her that she shouldn't be choosy and that it's impossible to meet a perfect guy with a package of good physique and intelligence as well as all the qualities she wanted. In fact, nowadays, female doctors are NOT the type of girls straight guys will consciously choose to date. I guess the reason is obvious. Correct me if I'm wrong.

The reason that we can be on the same wavelength is that I'm viscerally metrosexual. As contradictory as it may sound, I don't really mind being outwitted by her. Maybe, I'm gay. Hence, I don't care that much. When I hang out with her, I don't have to be the gentleman. I can remove my mask and be my genuine self. In fact, what takes me aback is that, sometimes, she's the knight in shining armour who protects me, making me feel like a complete bottom, which I don't think I am, technically speaking.

During lunch, Alicia regaled us with stories of my quirks when I lived with her during orthopaedics posting and how I liked to wander in the house clad only in a piece of towel. I suddenly miss all the squables and bickering matches we used to have.

Absence does make the heart grow fonder.

Alicia : 吃那么多？不是在减肥吗？

Me: 不减了。我没有了''目标''。没有了''理想''。没有了减肥的理由。

Alicia: 就是这样，才必须更积极啊！

She knows how desperate I am for a boyfriend. We tend to use subtle words with hidden meanings when we communicate with each other to avert suspicion. I thought for a few seconds and realized that what she said actually made sense. Maybe, do gay guys tend to shy away from dorky med students like me too?

I'm going to play basketball now. Enjoy your weekend. Selamat Hairy Raya, especially to Ameer Zachery. =)