It's not uncommon to see pregnant women as young as 15. The girl with preterm prelabour rupture of membranes whom I clerked today is only 16. And his husband is a year younger than me.
I feel very old all of a sudden. While I'm still cruising at swimming pools and checking out some hot guys on Facebook, many people 7 or 8 years younger than me are already starting their families.
I'm kinda immature when it comes to relationships, attributable to the fact that I've never really had one. After having played the passive role for so long and realizing it did me no good, I decided to learn to be more proactive. However, I don't know how to pursue someone I have feelings for. Every time my efforts culminate in a dismal failure, I lose my confidence. Perhaps, I'm not trying hard enough. Or maybe, I'm not courageous enough to face the fear of rejection.
Apart from that, my sexperience is almost nil. This is kinda embarrassing, but I decided to be honest here. When I tell my friends this, they say I'm being coy and trying to put up a facade of innocence.
Extremely desperate though I am, I'm anything but a fan of ONS. Yet, in the meantime, I'm worried of not being able to satisfy my future boyfriend sexually. And there are no free tutorials for me to hone my skills. Although I'm addicted to porn, I don't think I'll be able to rim and blow as adroitly as the guys in my collection of porn. I'm sure it takes years to be that good. And I'm running out of time. I'm aging. Hope that what I've learnt so far will enable me to put up a satisfactory performance when the time comes.
And I don't know how many heart-breaks I have to go through before I can eventually settle down with the love of my life. But come what may. I'm willing tto learn. Everyone starts from zero anyway, right?
Anyone out there offering free tutorials?
I think that's what we call Life... and it's good to learn from the mistakes.. tutorial? hmmm...
ReplyDeleteTake it easy. Take one thing at a time. Hold your horses. Your loved one has to love you for what you are not what you can do for him. Any lesser person would be shortchanging you!
ReplyDeleteYou are as old as you think you are. So you can decide to be young at heart always.
Chill it bro...
You're younger than me! I kept my heart closely guarded but it encounters wrenching heartbreaks when I release it. Love will come when you least expect it to. For now, go enjoy life as a student. :)
ReplyDeletepikey, yes yes tutorials!
ReplyDeletecarpe diem, thanks for the advice.
little dove, i m enjoying a lot now. haha. soon the enjoyment will come to an end. hope u r doing well in ur housemanship. take care!