Ain't feeling good

I ain't feeling good.

The papers on Monday were fine. But, I'm dissatisfied with my performance today. Made careless mistakes here and there. I could have done better.

Maybe, I shouldn't be such a perfectionist. Maybe, I should accept my imperfections. Life can be very difficult and when you're trying to hard.

Oh wait. I'm not even trying too hard to begin with. Seriously, I need to buck up. Sigh. No more A- for this posting. Perhaps, I'm just catastrophizing. No worries. I'll scrape through.

To make matters worse, someone rammed into my car. Now, my beloved car's got a huge unsightly indentation. I felt devastated.

Eventually, I told myself to calm down. Well, whatever. I can do nothing besides cursing him with expletives. Even if I'd known who the culprit was, I wouldn't have had the guts to accost him and demand for compensation. I can't afford to have my mood disrupted this week. Having a good mood does help you absorb and assimilate what you're studying more effectively. But, I cringe at the thought of having to fork out a fortune to have the damage repaired.

Calamities always take place at the most inappropriate times.

The only thing that lightened my mood was helping a colleague jump-start her car today. For the first time in my life, I felt so straight. So, I guess now I'm eligible for being labelled as straight-acting?

Two more papers this Saturday. Clinical exam. I hope I will get patients with pre-eclampsia or gestational diabetes mellitus.

In addition to my recent addiction to caffeine and David Archuleta, I've been eating compulsively again to make myself feel good. Sex is definitely the most ideal form of escapism in such a stressful situation. But, I guess I shouldn't be thinking about this now. Pathetic.

Derrick has been telling me that being single has its benefits. Yet, neither do I find these advantages tangible nor realistic when I'm horny.